sorta stuck in a rut...i would like to paint more from my imagination... dreams, visions,wondering, just stuff, and i never do it. i'm stuck painting things for others an d i would like to be selfish and paint something just for me,,, something that is me... and only me but i am afraid at the same time... not just that the painting will be judged or fail or succeed but that after all these years my innocence isn't 5 years old any more . i want to paint what i feel and then i stop . some times i don't know what i feel, i don't know what anger looks like, or happiness, or fear, or healing, in my head they are more like stories. how do i tell a whole story in one painting, or is that what art is even for, one slide from the 35 millimeter film.. any way i am forcing my self to try....

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