It is my last week at my part-time job. I decided to take a little time off for myself and focus on school, and most importantly, put more time in my artwork. This doesn't seem like a big deal to a lot of people, but it relieves so much stress for me...
In my past artwork, I've noticed I've paid a lot more attention to details, and have more patience for each pieces. As the years went by, I became so busy that I felt that I couldn't balance in what I wanted to do anymore. I've been filled with anxiety about anything and everything & had a lot of bad art days than good ones. I was easily irritated because I felt that I never had enough time to do anything. I always felt I gave less than half of my time for each of the paintings or drawings I wanted to do...
It might not make sense to anyone in what I feel, but I can't wait until I can go back to my old self again. Be a happier, less-anxious, inspired, Bess. It may not seem like it, but I felt that I've always had a major art block (for months) that I just couldn't escape from. Hopefully within the next month or two, I can feel happier & focus on the artist that I want to be.
I feel that it is sometimes hard to stay motivated as an artist because you naturally compare yourself to the other artists around you. I've already learned that you have to get away from that mindset & use it as inspiration. You are your own artist & no one can be you. Sometimes I forget this because I'm so caught up in wanting things to look perfect. Although, I know that nothing is perfect!
I think it's an inner battle with us, artists, that we feel we can always do better in our work (at least I do), and feel our pieces are never finished. But, I think that's what makes artists (not just fine art!) so special. We keep striving to do what we love. We learn through each piece that we create. We continue to grow & eventually get to a point were we know what we like & don't like. We take each of those things and create art that represents who we are. I believe each and one of us already have that, even if we may not feel or know it yet.
To whoever read this, thank you for taking your time to hear my thoughts. I don't really write anything down like this before, but it's something I felt I had to share (Plus it made me feel better overall, haha). I'm happy & grateful for the people that are so supportive of me. It's part of the reason I can keep doing what I love. Now that I got this out of my chest... stay tuned for new work!! hehe :D